WRITE WHEN IT’S HARD

When you’re most afraid

Of what it’s hard to know exactly

When the pain won’t go away write anyway

From the bottom of your anxious stomach

Acid aches heart breaks

Splits like atoms

Nuclear up through the body

But wait don’t go just yet

You still have breath in your lungs

Begin again every day

Write the pain away 

Form words of in and out breath

These are not worthless forms 

Real pain is mental anguish

You can’t move forwards

Or backwards

Or jump for joy

Everything gets clawed back to

Its lowest form

Write now keep going

Make a run for it

Don’t let the bastard’s

Claim it back

You’re not the dirt and suffering you see

Because it is not dirt and it is not suffering

That you see

But life in all its myriad wonder

That means joy and pain

Not just the broken lives ranting in the dark

But the tenderness of the afflicted

The humanity between strangers in peril

That bonds us 

As much as the hate that makes the news

To go out once more into the world

To carve another day from the weight of existence

In this moment

Which is supposed to be beautiful

Well it is 

It should be or will be

To borrow money from your children 

Feels like the ultimate dishonour

To pay them back with love and cooked meals

Perhaps does make it right

I should not have said what I said

I should not have done what I did.